2008 Woodie Awards
For space's sake, Pluto is a planet
Columnist aims to keep the distant rock close to our hearts
Corey Brunk
Issue date: 9/6/06 Section: Opinion
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Have you ever woken up one morning and found out that a planet is missing? It's not a dream, its reality. As many of you probably know by now, the fine folks at NASA have ripped away our beloved Pluto; it shall never again be recognized as a planet.
I surfed online polls at CNN.com after this travesty and saw that at least 60% of Americans felt the same way I do. It's a bunch of, well, manure.
So the rocket scientists at NASA took Pluto away from us because, basically, it's a crappy little rock at the end of our solar system that they don't believe is important anymore. There obviously must have been some significance to Pluto when it was accidentally discovered in 1930 by American astronomer Clyde W. Tombaugh.
In fact, Pluto was given its name because it was such an interesting planet. Pluto is the Roman mythology Greek name for Hades, God of the Underworld. The planet was dubbed Pluto because it is, or shall I say, was, the farthest planet from the Sun. Its erratic orbit made it unpredictable, much like Hades.
I'm sure that Mr. Tombaugh would be turning over in his grave if he could hear the nonsense that those "intelligent" people at NASA are feeding us. Personally, I would have liked the opportunity to have voted, or at least taken part in the decision to do away with such a popular and important planet. I'm more worried about the youth that now have to remember that there are only eight planets in our solar system, not nine. I don't believe its fair, not only to the youth, but the rest of us who have lived all our lives knowing for a fact that there are nine planets.
And exactly how are all our youngsters going to remember the order of the planets? I remember being taught some mnemonic devices that helped us learn their order: My Very Earnest Mother Just Served Us Nine Pickles or My Very Elegant Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas. I've got a new one: My Very Elegant Mother Just Served Us NOTHING!
What concerns me the most is what actually qualifies these people to rename this planet and utterly do away with it? I figure that they [the people at NASA] are just as qualified as I am, so from now on I believe that we all should denounce the existence of Antarctica as continent. Just as NASA has degraded Pluto to a Pluton, we should degrade Antarctica to a demi-continent or even just recognize it as "a really big glacier."
I surfed online polls at CNN.com after this travesty and saw that at least 60% of Americans felt the same way I do. It's a bunch of, well, manure.
So the rocket scientists at NASA took Pluto away from us because, basically, it's a crappy little rock at the end of our solar system that they don't believe is important anymore. There obviously must have been some significance to Pluto when it was accidentally discovered in 1930 by American astronomer Clyde W. Tombaugh.
In fact, Pluto was given its name because it was such an interesting planet. Pluto is the Roman mythology Greek name for Hades, God of the Underworld. The planet was dubbed Pluto because it is, or shall I say, was, the farthest planet from the Sun. Its erratic orbit made it unpredictable, much like Hades.
I'm sure that Mr. Tombaugh would be turning over in his grave if he could hear the nonsense that those "intelligent" people at NASA are feeding us. Personally, I would have liked the opportunity to have voted, or at least taken part in the decision to do away with such a popular and important planet. I'm more worried about the youth that now have to remember that there are only eight planets in our solar system, not nine. I don't believe its fair, not only to the youth, but the rest of us who have lived all our lives knowing for a fact that there are nine planets.
And exactly how are all our youngsters going to remember the order of the planets? I remember being taught some mnemonic devices that helped us learn their order: My Very Earnest Mother Just Served Us Nine Pickles or My Very Elegant Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas. I've got a new one: My Very Elegant Mother Just Served Us NOTHING!
What concerns me the most is what actually qualifies these people to rename this planet and utterly do away with it? I figure that they [the people at NASA] are just as qualified as I am, so from now on I believe that we all should denounce the existence of Antarctica as continent. Just as NASA has degraded Pluto to a Pluton, we should degrade Antarctica to a demi-continent or even just recognize it as "a really big glacier."
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